Could MPs on all sides please stop acting like unruly school kids?
The end of the school term goes hand-in-hand with discipline being somewhat relaxed.
Lessons focus on pointless activities, farcical excuses for lack of homework are proffered, and boisterous singing will probably break out at some point.
So it has proved too with the end of the parliamentary term.
On Monday, having lamented that the prorogation of parliament meant there was no time to discuss crucial issues, MPs spent 90 minutes offering gushing tributes to outgoing Commons speaker John Bercow.
Then followed a brutal debate in which opposition MPs tried to argue that they really did want an election, just not yet, and a disheveled Boris Johnson lost control of the class and was defeated in the sixth of the six votes he has held as Prime Minister.
Rebels also won a motion demanding that the PM and his team hand in their phones at the end of the lesson.
To top it off, as the ceremony for suspending parliament progressed, some irate MPs held up signs reading “silenced” (more reminiscent of the student union than the cradle of British democracy), while others remained behind to sing songs of protest.
School is now decidedly out until 14 October. And yet, the absurdity that characterised the last term continues.
Labour, after taking a break to argue with the Conservatives, is back to arguing with itself. Having mandated that Boris seeks an extension to Article 50 before allowing an election, it must now work out what its own Brexit stance in that election will actually be.
Jeremy Corbyn said this week that the manifesto would include a commitment to a second referendum, offering a choice between Remain and a new Labour-negotiated deal.
But that doesn’t go far enough for some – shadow chancellor John McDonnell and shadow foreign secretary Emily Thornberry have both said that not leaving the EU at all is the best option.
That suggests that Labour policy would be to negotiate a new deal, then campaign against it in a referendum. What a catchy slogan for an election.
If Labour’s policy is clear as mud, the Liberal Democrats’ is crystal. Jo Swinson has seen Corbyn’s tortured lurch towards Remain, and raised the stakes, promising to cancel Brexit entirely.
This bold move was probably encouraged by the Lib Dem ranks swelling to number 17 MPs last week – including former Tory Phillip Lee who crossed the floor live on air, and Luciana Berger who has joined them after quitting the Labour party in February. And therein lies the fly in the ointment.
Lee may oppose Brexit, but he’s a lifelong Conservative whose record on LGBT rights and social issues is pretty right-wing. It is unclear how such a progressive party will accommodate his diverse views.
Berger’s decision to leave Labour, meanwhile, was driven primarily by the antisemitism scandal and Corbyn’s failure to address it. How will she react if her new party joins forces with Corbyn to form a Remain Alliance in the next election?
And while the Lib Dems have succeeded in making theirs the party of Remain, they have essentially become a single-issue group – a high-risk move when most people are sick of Brexit.
But if the Lib Dems don’t seem too concerned about this at the moment, it may be because their energy is being spent instead on suggesting that the Prime Minister resign for misleading the Queen.
Yes, that’s where we are right now. Bizarre as it may have been, everything that has happened since parliament was prorogued has been utterly overshadowed by the ruling by Scottish judges on Wednesday that the suspension was unlawful anyway.
The judgement is being appealed next week in the Supreme Court, but for now, chaos reigns. One Tory minister embarrassed himself by implying that the judges were not impartial, while the SNP is no doubt waiting to pounce if the ruling is overturned, in order to play up the narrative that an English court has overridden a Scottish judgement, and left Scotland unrepresented at such a crucial time. The SNP won’t miss an opportunity to hammer home a grievance.
And some MPs just could not contain their enthusiasm, promptly heading back to the empty House of Commons as though staging a sit-in.
Such antics do nothing to reassure people that Britain’s representatives are tackling the challenge of Brexit with the maturity and solemnity that it requires.
Whatever side of the Brexit chasm you’re on, we can only hope that when school resumes in October, our politicians have made the collective decision to grow up.
Main image credit: Getty