Sick of the Brexit saga? You’ll miss it when it’s finally over
Not for the first time, it struck me last week in the midst of parliamentary shenanigans and court challenges how much my friends and acquaintances like to talk about the B word.
The conversation arose over pudding at a dinner party, and though all the guests rolled their eyes and groaned sophisticatedly at the interminability of it all, I couldn’t help but notice that everyone was suddenly sitting up a little straighter in their chairs.
By two in the morning, when constitutional chat was flowing faster than cheap white wine, I was forced to conclude that, whinge though we might, we’re going to miss Brexit when it’s gone.
So, what is it about Britain’s withdrawal from a supranational trade bloc that titillates us all?
The most obvious answer is that for decades Brits have repressed their natural, human instinct for patriotism. Thanks perhaps to old imperialist guilt, we look on in mild embarrassment when the French and Americans well up singing their national anthems, and joke feebly about not knowing the words when it comes to singing our own.
Enthusiastic Union Jack wavers are traditionally looked upon with downright suspicion in Britain (unless there are royals in the vicinity), and whispers of patriotic pride are hastily disguised with self-deprecating laughs.
But the tribal allegiances unlocked during the 2016 referendum have given Brits an outlet through which they can express their latent patriotism.
Arch-leavers (often draped in Union Jacks) talk freely and excitedly about taking the country back, while Remainers (also draped in UK flags, but a version superimposed onto the EU’s yellow stars) chatter about “special” Britain “retaining its place in the world”.
Though they disagree about much, both groups – if the competing choruses of Jerusalem outside parliament are anything to go by – believe that Britain is important and unique. Through the prism of the EU question, they have found a way to shout about it. No wonder they don’t want to stop just yet.
There’s also no getting around the fact that talking about Brexit makes people feel clever. Because the issue has dominated the headlines for so long, we’ve all become unwitting experts, both in the politics and practicalities of it.
Taking even herself by surprise, an accountant friend of mine, who has always professed a total lack of interest in Westminster politics, rounded off our dinner party with a detailed explanation of why each of the proposed alternative arrangements to the Irish backstop could never work.
When questioned on the source of her expertise, she replied that her office listens to LBC every day and she must have picked it up by osmosis.
For millennials, raised in the relatively tranquil nineties, Brexit is the first political drama in which we have been fully immersed. Sometimes it’s hard to resist showing off how much we know, especially to older colleagues or relatives who assume we don’t follow the news.
And it isn’t just millennials who are secretly enjoying the chaos. For older generations, the tribal nature of the referendum and its aftermath has opened up the possibility of brand new friendships.
Decry the stereotypes all you like, but how a person voted in the referendum three years ago is often used as a shorthand for their world-view, so talking about Brexit is a quick way to discover if a new acquaintance is your “sort of person”.
Though outright asking someone which way they voted is obviously a no-no, a casual chat about the only story dominating current affairs can be very revealing indeed.
My Brexiteer uncle, for example, has developed a knack for sniffing out and befriending fellow Leavers, many of whom are now closer (and better) friends than men he’s known since his school days.
As for TV producers, comedy writers, novelists, cartoonists, and even us newspaper columnists, Brexit and the utter chaos which has accompanied it has been a godsend.
Where once finding material for a skit or article was a challenge, now the problem is picking which absurd aspect of the ongoing drama is the juiciest.
Should five defections take precedent? Or a dramatic bust-up between Boris Johnson and his younger girlfriend, or perhaps his brother? What about the history being made as we speak in the Supreme Court?
Brexit has dominated our lives for the best part of four years – and the cries of “just get on with it” come as no surprise. But, hard though it is to believe, there will come a time when you wake up and realise that Britain’s withdrawal from the EU hasn’t made headlines for a day, then a week, then a month.
And I guarantee that a tiny part of you will mourn its disappearance.
Main image credit: Getty